Home Alone!!!!!

When Sean and I were first married, I would hate when he went out of town. I would be left with all these thoughts of him crashing in his car (not an absurd thought considering you can count all his accidents he had before he met me on both hands and toes) or something else so tragic I would be left a lonely widow with a lifetime of sadness. I know, I have a crazy imagination. I would imagine how I would hear the news with the cops at my door telling me that he had died earlier that day and that it took a while to locate his wallet to notify his loved ones. So, Sean didn't leave a whole lot because I would throw a big fit every time. I was a little needy to say the least.
Now I sit here with Sean out of town on business. I don't have an ounce of fear in me. Why is that? Have I just gotten more mature and less needy? I don't like to think I love him any less, but it does make me wonder how it has changed so drastically. I don't think about those little what if's anymore. I just relish in the quiet nights I spend on the computer and watching whatever show I like at the same time without any word said by you know who. I must say, I think that I am getting older and more complacent. I don't know if that is a good thing, but I do like not having the thoughts that would literally keep me up at night with worry.
The one thing I do miss is Sean putting the kids to bed. I do not have the patience at that time of night. I lose it completely and it is not a pretty sight people. It makes me tired just thinking about it. I didn't get to eat dinner until 8:30 because the kids were fighting about a book that we were going to read. I didn't understand their mode of thinking. We are all going to read the same book, so who really cares who picks it out. I guess we all had it by the end of the day. I just have to get through the next couple of days. Wish me luck.