Sunday, January 25, 2009

Why am I so cranky?


This morning I woke up a thorn in my side. I don't know why, but I was on one. Nothing my husband said and did was right in my eyes and my children were on my last nerve. It made me sad to think that this was the Sabbath day and I was in the worst mood of my life. Actually, it had been going on for a week prior, but today I felt like I hit a major wall. I feel worn out and exhausted, not being able to find a comfortable position in standing and lying down. Basically, I am tired of being pregnant. I try to embrace the fact that this is the last time I am doing this pregnancy thing, but it is hard to feel gratitude.
I went to church and took the sacrament and instantly my mood changed. I love what the sacrament does for me. I feel completely refortified and it seemed that all I had been feeling all day was swept under the rug. I saw my friends at church and some other friendly faces and it seemed to help. I didn't even get asked when I was due today which in my mind was a huge triumph in itself. I just felt great after church and my temper was completely changed. I am grateful that I went to church and didn't let Satan get the best of me. He almost did, but Heavenly Father prevailed.
So, today I am going to make a goal to be more positive and change my attitude about this pregnancy. I am going to relish in the last 60 days and say with a smile, I am due in March and not comment how big I am. I am not going to comment to my skinny sis in law who is also pregnant with me and barely showing about how huge I am in comparison. I am going to love this baby so much even when she kicks me from every corner of my insides and she makes me want to pee. I may not be perfect in accomplishing this goal, but I am really going to do my best. I know that I am lucky to be pregnant and that me complaining about it is not the best for me or anyone around me including my lil Lyla Rose. So, here is to my my new goal. Wish me luck. I am going to need it!

8 comments:

Amy Beatty said...

YOU can. I have seen you when you put your mind to something- you go full force! Love you. Wish I could rub your back or something.

Kimberly said...

You are sooooo allowed to have one of those moods. I wanted to die my whole pregnancy, I'm sure I was a real pill. Pregnant women are in a separate category from the rest of civilization. You are allowed to do anything you need to. To feel anyway you need to and to yell at everyone. Okay, so maybe I made up the category and the rules, but I say, relish the last 60 days while you can still use the "Lay off me I'm Pregnant!" excuse! :)

But if you feel so inclined to be nice, I say go with that. Because as much as I just spouted off at the mouth, nice really is better. :) I'm glad that you had such a wonderful experience at church today. I love it when the Spirit changes our feelings, and wipes away the frustration.

Peace.

kristin said...

Why is it that when we're pregnant we feel like we're the most bohemouth of everyone else? I don't even think you look as large as I think you feel! I'm so glad that you were able to push aside all of the "stuff" and concentrate on what most matters. That's where you're great!
I absolutely love the name Lyla Rose! It's so cute and I hear you when you say that it makes a difference when you name your baby. I don't particularly bond with my babies till their born, but they cease to be the source of your uncomfortable-ness (yes I just made that word up. I do that a lot) and the pregnancy starts to have meaning again. I love ya and I know that you're a great mom. This baby is so lucky!
Plus, she's going to have great hair her WHOLE life as her mother is a hairdresser! I'm so jealous.

My Diary said...

Good luck. It does make it easier to have a positive attitude. Not much but a little.

MacSterS said...

You're pregnant? :)

The Petty Family said...

Hey...I'm cranky and I'm NOT pregnant!! But I'll join you on your new quest to be more positive :)
Good luck to both of us!!
(I miss our little therapy sessions!!)

Glory Watts said...

I swear Kim, I am totally more cranky when I'm pregnant than any other time. I would find myself constantly thinking...what the heck is wrong with me? First of all, all the crazy hormones flooding through your body doesn't help, lack of sleep, being uncomfortable all day and all night, they are all major contributors. Just remember, it WILL be over before you know it. I can't wait to meet your Lyla Rose (we almost gave Ruby that middle name) I love you Kim.

I got your message the other night. I'll call you soon.

Jodi and Jordan Rowell said...

I am like that everyday and I am not pregnant. At least you have an excuse. I am proud of you for still being a fabulous mom, wife and friend even though life doesn't feel good most of the time. I love you and I am proud to call you my gorgeous, skinny sister!!