So, I have been involved in a parent-teacher preschool for Julianna and loving every minute of it. I love that I can my own mentor to go and help me figure out the inner workings of my child. I hate that every time I think of Julianna, I think HARD! I want to think of other words that will bring out her best side instead of encouraging negative feelings right off the bat. I do it all the time and I want it to end. I think that they pick up on the vibe and live up to that image. So, since I have started I have come up with some new views on myself and my daughter...
1) She is a person with feelings and I need to acknowledge those feelings with respect and not end every act with her with the line, "Agghh, you are driving me crazy!" That is not the way I want my daughter to feel when she is around her mommy. So, I have taken it out of my vocabulary. I might slip, but I am making a conscious effort to nick it all together.
2) I heard from a book called Love Languages that everyone feels loved in different ways. I am a time person. I feel loved when people spend quality time with me. I have come to find that Julianna's language is time and words. I have tried to compliment her much more and it is amazing how she beams. She also has been dooped when it comes to spending one on one time with me, so lately she has been going to the store with me without the brother and sister. She is helpful and a great conversationalist. I like to think she gets that from me. I really have enjoyed that time and I am really seeing instant benefits of showing her those things that I know bring her joy.
3) Distraction is key! I have known this for a while now, but to master the art is the hard part I am trying to learn. I see her teacher do it like it is a second language. I look at every fit and tantrum as an opportunity to turn it into a positive experience, but I am having a hard time convincing Julianna. She is a really smart kid and sometimes I think she knows what I am trying to do. To partner distraction is persistence. I know that she may not be happy instantly, but if I continue to change the subject, she will forget eventually and be happy.
I am not parenting guru and I wrote down three things today to bring to my parenting class that I can ask her teacher what to do because I have no idea. I do feel blessed that I have come into this amazing opportunity to unlock the mysteries of my child. I really look up to her teacher and am so glad she is there for me and my daughter, so we can have a long lasting great relationship.
2 comments:
I hope she has all the answers! Then I'll come to you with my questions!!! :)
Wow Kim! I wish I had that insight on Zak:) You're an amazing mother, and just the fact that you want to know her "inner workings," means that you are truly wanting her best interests. If she doesn't get that now, she'll definitely get that when she's older, especially when she needs to know her mom is really trying.
You're just plain awesome!
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