Anger Management

I don't know how many know that I attend a parent class a couple times a month as a part of Julianna's pre-school. The teacher is actually Julianna's teacher and I LOVE HER! She is such a wonderful teacher to my daughter. She is patient and kind and such a great mentor for myself as I try to mold my child and not mess her up too bad. Well tonight's class was about Anger. I was enlightened by the discussion. I wanted to document those aha moments so I can have them forever!!

1. Why do we get Angry? Think about it for a minute...the things you come up with can be a number of things. Disappointment, Frustration, ect. The side effects of the things that come from being Angry can result in loss of control, inability to express yourself constructively, reaching a boiling point resulting in somthing you will probably regret later.

2. How do we want people to act with us when we get angry? Myself, I like to talk about it with someone who doesn't judge me on how to feel. I also don't want anyone to solve my anger. I like someone to just nod their head in agreement or voice the same frustration. Anyone who tries to tell me not to feel angry just makes me angrier.

3. Well, turn this around to your children. This was my AHA moment of the night. What do I do when my child gets angry? I know I am not the person that my kids can come to not get a voice of judgement or agree with them in a validation sort of way that I crave when I get angry. All we all ever want is VALIDATION! Whether we are 32 or 4, it dosen't matter. We all want just a little understanding from the people we love the most and for a four year old that is most certainly our mom and dad.

4. Who is the Adult anyway?? I sometimes wonder the way I deal with my anger if I am the child. I throw tantrums and when I see my children do it, I think if I am the one that they are modeling after to deal with their anger. I am 32 years old and I need to start acting like it and teach my children what it is like to be angry and deal with it more effectively. I am the Adult dang it and I am going to try harder to be a better role model on how to deal with anger in a more positive manner. It is ok to be angry as long as it is safe.

5. We often act wrongly when we don't understand it. The secret to the success of getting into the heads of our children in their most desperate hour is simply listening. The simple line, "You are really angry." That simple line will open the windows to why they are angry and opening the communication. Also, seeing the triggers that usually are the backbone to most meltdowns are the key to understanding them and why they get angry. I for one am not to be dealt with when I am hungry. I am not a nice person and most times if my kids are being hard, I have my own meltdown. Any child is the same and I usually remember a little too late. But my goal is to figure it out sooner rather than later to see if that eliminates the problem.

I am so grateful that I get to soak this info in so that I can improve myself. Let's see if I can live it now! Thank you Ms. Anita for giving me the key to happier children and a happy mommy!